When people discuss “self-harm,” they are usually talking about self-mutilation behaviors such as cutting. But cutting is only one-way people self-harm — in fact, occasionally self-harm doesn’t “look” like self-harm at all.
This is her piece, “The Behavior I did not Realize Was Really Self-Harm.” Renton recognized the casual sex she participated in was actually a way she was harming herself. She composed,
Self-harm is not always about causing bodily pain. It is continually tugging at that thread that will let you unravel. Regrettably, what can start as fairly innocuous behavior can cause more serious harm and even attempts at suicide.
Self-harm does not always manifest, and Self-destructive behavior can crop up in areas of our lives we may not know about.
Perhaps You put everyone else’s needs above your own to the Point of burnout so frequently, it’s a way you’re hurting yourself with or without recognizing it. Maybe you often drive away people, and in sabotaging your relationships, you’re actually subconsciously self-sabotaging. Or maybe you use outwardly “healthy” behaviors such as exercise to extreme excess and end up hurting yourself.
We wanted to know what behaviors individuals engaged in that they Understood were really self-harm, so we turned to our Mighty neighborhood to share their own experiences. You can read what they discussed with us below.
It is important to remember not All the behaviors listed Are automatically self-harm. As an example, avoiding going to the physician might be the consequence of a struggle with stress, not self-harm. Often what makes a behavior self-destructive is the dangerous thought process behind the behavior.
Here Is What our neighborhood shared with us today:
“Spending cash. I do not mean to. Actually, when I’m not Gloomy I’m quite frugal. But when my depression kicks in, I buy stuff. A good deal of it’s does with self-image too. I think if I have nice things, I will feel better about myself. Then there is that part of me that only needs to fill that emptiness. This is indeed harmful because erratic spending gets me to feel worse when I recognize I ‘wasted’ money. I then descend in the cycle over again”
“Buying things, I truly don’t have to fill a void. When I am Buying, I am happy that moment, but once I run out of cash or examine the things, I brought I truly don’t want, I feel bad.”
2. Isolating Yourself
“Actively isolating. I stay home All of the time, even when I know it would be helpful for me to get outside and do something. My health issues make me feel like nobody would want to accommodate me if I wanted to go somewhere, so all I do would be grocery shopping and then return home. I’m alone or with my kids all the time.” —Suzy J.
3. Having More Casual Sex Than Usual
“Convincing myself that my hypersexuality Is Truly just Me being in control of my own body and adopting that I am when occasionally it’s a negative coping skill and it leaves me lonely and empty and feeling unfulfilled.” —Clarice S.
“I shall trade access to my body for someone to just hold me For a few minutes. If/when he hurts me, it is because I think I deserve it.
4. Putting Everyone Else’s Needs Ahead of Your Own
“One destructive behavior people don’t think about as self-harm Is putting others’ needs ahead of your own. An example is friends who wish to talk late at night. Despite the fact that I want to sleep for a job, college, and kids in the morning, I’ll continue to speak to them, because I don’t need them to feel alone. Or I will have bills of my own to pay, but my buddy’s water is getting closed off, so I give them my own invoice cash to cover their accounts, and I am left scrambling to have money.”
5. Eating Too Much Too Small
“I binge eat. I shed all mindfulness of everything I’m eating and Will continue to eat before I can’t any longer. Then, I start self-loathing and hating myself for what I’ve done.” —Rebecca B.
6. Allowing Hazardous People into Your Life
“I shall allow toxic Individuals back into my own life constantly Because I feel as though I deserve the way they treat me. I have this idea that I am bad and deserve punishment, therefore I do this by allowing poisonous folks to stay in my entire life.”
7. Placing Yourself at Risky Situations
“Generally risky behavior, like going out by myself Through the night in a poor neighborhood, and placing myself in a position in which I feel anxious.” —Chloe L.
8. Watching Things to Make Yourself Feel Worse on Purpose
“Seeing emotionally draining TV shows or films. I’ll Intentionally search Google for films that are gloomy or around suicide to make me feel happier than I am already.” —Hannah D.
“I scrape and scratch and scrape. I will scrape my arms Raw or I’ll pull my hair. I told my advisor this once and he dismissed it and stated that self-harm is only once you draw blood”
10. Avoiding Moving to the Doctor
“Continually preventing the doctors when I’ve severely Injured myself and can do more harm. Frankly, I’ve had poor experiences at the physicians and try to prevent it as much as you can.” —Candace C.
“Not doing something. Giving up. Canceling appointments, perhaps not Bathing or cleaning, skipping meds since it all seems so pointless. And doing this all in isolation to prevent being a burden” —Autumn S.
11. Sabotaging Important Relationships
“I hurt those I adore. I ruin my relationships and my life because I do not believe I deserve anything good. I just destroy everything.”
“My destructive behavior is pushing people away with my Erratic and emotional outbursts. I feel powerful feelings, sometimes warranted and sometimes not. I become actuated and I lash out. I’ve lost friendships and relationships over it. I have quit jobs because of it. It’s my own ‘self-harm.
“Telling my friends to leave me. I recently realized I do this. I will say ‘crazy’ things so as to push them away. They haven’t left me yet, but I really do feel as though our relationship has shifted.”
12. Excessive Use of Alcohol or Drugs
“For me personally it’s excessive drinking of alcohol. I drink more Significantly when I am worse in my own melancholy because the alcohol gives me a temporary disposition progress and makes it easier to maintain my mask of happiness around those who care for me.”
“I believe a few of the things that I do is self-medicate. Whether it Is marijuana or alcohol. I don’t really see it as self-harm in the time — that’s until a couple of days later when I crash into another manic episode and recognize what I have done.”
13. Eating or Drinking Things You Are Allergic to
“Drinking milk though I’m not supposed to because I’ll get Extremely sick.” —Shyian G.
14. Punishing Yourself for Not Dressing for the Weather
“Occasionally, in the chilly, I’d force myself to maintain Putting on extra layers to keep warm for a moment. Telling myself to simply give in to the cold. I used it as a punishment. It didn’t hurt, but I truly don’t like being cold. Not ‘cold chilly,’ anyways. Or, when it is hot, I do not take off my excess layers. I feel closed in when I am really sexy. I get claustrophobic in lots of scenarios, especially with warmth, so I use my own discomforts as a punishment for myself since I can not let myself hurt myself in precisely the exact manner I had been. Same concept, just various weather. And at the close of the afternoon, it isn’t great enough… I am working on resisting those things and attempting to practice self-care. And occasionally the most I could do is brush my own hair and wash my head, but it is still something.”
“Overtraining in the gym. People Today think because you are Active… that you are doing well.” —Chocolate J.
“Over-exercising. Folks tend to think of this as a healthful Assessing skill, but I mistreat it resulting in overuse injuries and harmful energy imbalance.” —Nika B.