You need to raise your kids without overparenting
Raising kids is one of the trickiest things to do as a human. Most people who fall into the extremes often fail to achieve what they want their children to be. Some parents are overprotective and pay attention to every behavior made by their children. Others are negligent and know the least about their children.
The medium path seems to be the best choice. To help you find the middle ground of successful parenthood, we dedicate this article to give you the best 6 ways to raise children successfully without overparenting.
1. Provide your kids with things to own and control.
From a neurological perspective, the prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that helps a person take control of themselves and set goals that they can achieve. The prefrontal cortex is the slowest developing part of the brain. It’s fully developed when your child reaches their 20s.
When children learn ownership and control over in their early days, it helps them be better at controlling the course of their lives and not be subject to childish whims as they grow older.
Your child’s allowance is the perfect example. Giving your child pocket money monthly is a great idea. Because the child has to learn how to manage that amount of money throughout the month, which will enhance their management skills and control over their impulses.
2. Parenting is not about raising happy kids.
Parents are desperate to raise happy children, which drives some parents to over spoil their children, which might not be a very good thing. A better alternative is to try to raise productive, responsible, and virtuous kids. Happiness is only a symptom of living a virtuous life. As children grow older, they have to learn that being an adult is more about responsibility than happiness. Happiness only being a product of living a fit life that fosters virtues of productivity and good moral judgment.
Focus more on raising children that are moral and responsible. They will realize happiness in their lives through adopting those virtues. Focusing only on happiness and pleasure will leave your child in an infantile state that won’t serve them in society when they grow old. You should balance the pleasure and reality principles in your approach. And don’t let your love for your children drive you more than your moral responsibility.
3. Show your kids respect as human beings.
Fostering self-respect and confidence springs from the approach that parents take towards their children. Offering unconditional love and respect for your child allows them to know their worth and act accordingly. Children are more likely to disobey parents who think of their children merely as kids, not as human beings who have the freedom of choice.
Respect the choices of your children and support them. If they fail, it’s their own thing to figure out. You are not inclined to interfere forever. Respect only brings more respect.
4. Encourage your kids to help out around without being asked to do so.
The child needs to establish the impulse to be useful in a situation without being asked to do something. Otherwise, the child will grow up as a person who is dependent on taking orders. Taking orders might not be a good strategy because sometimes, people have to decide on their own what to do and what is the greater good. Having a critical mind that tells you what to do is better than waiting for external orders all the time.
5. Always remember that the devil is in the details (little things matter).
To give you a concrete example of how small things that parents do really matter in determining the future of children, we will explore the case of parents who read to their children at the age of 5 and less. According to one study, children whose parents read to them daily showed a great interest in study at the age of ten, and are more likely to be financially independent at the age of thirty.
This is but one example. Other examples might be responding warmly to conversations with your kids that show respect and engagement.
Overprotective parents need to take things more reasonably, and not let their feelings decide how they treat their children.